BONSAI - Episode 1 April Fool's Day 2001 Let's get things straight right from the start, I'm not an expert on bonsai and never will be. I can share my thought and experiences with you and take you along with me on the bonsai adventure that I embarked on three years ago. I suppose the first "seed" was sown for me in 1981 when I bought a small book "Successful Bonsai Growing" by Peter Adams. Until then, I had visions of the mysteries of the Orient - samurai warriors, geisha girls, tea parties, saki, ju-jitsu and fascinating little trees in pots. Even he word "bonsai" sounded mysterious.
I looked through that book, did nothing and forgot about bonsai for 15 years. (Regrets - what do you think ?)
In 1996 I saw a small oak tree seedling growing in a wood, dug it up, wrapped the roots in damp tissue, took it home and planted it in a 5 inch terra-cotta pot, I didn't really know why. Five years later I do, as it was the intrigue and mystery of bonsai at work in me. I was almost offended when my wife said "What's that stick doing in that pot ?" She was right, it was a stick in a pot - but not to me. To me it was going to be my first bonsai. The "stick" grew, budded and leafed up the following year with five small and two large leaves. and, unknown to me, I was trapped into bonsai, hook line and sinker.
The adventure had started.
BONSAI - Episode 2 How are you doing ? - SUMMER !! July 15th - 3ºC last night - global freezing if you ask me - how are your bedding plants ?
Yamadori - what a lovely word. A bit of research in the bonsai books and there you have it - field grown material ; anything growing wild (why am I thinking of my 17-year old son ?). Dan Barton calls them "wildlings". If you're lucky enough to find some with naturally stunted growth, you're really lucky.
Where can you find this yamadori then ? Easy - Japan : half-way up Mount Fuji - Austrian Alps - bottom of Everest no doubt. All the places that you and I regularly go to at the weekend for a couple of hours. However, there are places a bit closer to home.
Never complain about the neighbour's all-night parties of their half-cooked barbecues, because you never know when the "Titmarch Dimmocks" influences are at work and next door's yamadori hawthorn hedge, cotoneaster and pyracantha that you've had your eye on for years could be coming your way. They're re-designing their garden, thanks to Alan and Charlie. A few encouraging words and you could be in there, lads - "I'll have them if you like and save you the journey to the tip. I might be able to use them."
What about the local tip (Sorry ! Recycling Refuse Centre) ? Worth a visit on Sunday afternoons, about 3-4 o'clock. Yamadori by the lorry load being thrown away into the green skip. Chat up the supervisor, tell him what a fantastic job he's doing for the environment and you'll have a friend for life and as much yamadori as you want.
No good for your driving though, lads, is it, this yamadori ? You're on the dual carriageway, eyes should be on the road and all you can see is yamadori, stacks of it growing down each side. You pass by some "potensai" pines and hope that the next parking area is close, don't you ? Of course, you've got permission, haven't you, like it says you must have in the books ? ...... Yes, of course you have ......... was there ever any doubt ? ..... You can smile.
Have you ever wondered when your mate turns up with a tree he says he's bought from a friend for a couple of quid ?
BONSAI - Episode 3 October 2001
Eh up! folks, how you doing? What do you make of this weather then? I don’t know about you but my trees are nearly swimming and one of my Satsukis has started flowering again with it being so warm. I’ve removed the buds though so as not to weaken the tree for next year. All trees have got to have their dormant period, isn’t that right lads? Like you and me they all need a rest now and again.
I had a bit of luck a couple of weeks ago at a garden centre not a million miles from where I live. There were loads of Chinese elms at £19.99 each. In the middle of them was a rather tasty Carmon microphylla (Fukien tea tree) without a price on and worth at least twice that much. I asked an assistant how much it was. “Them are all £19.99 mate”, he said without even looking, ”Do you want a sticker on it?” What do you think lads? Looks very nice on the kitchen window sill. Not often you get that sort of luck in a garden centre is it? Lots of flowers on it already and should be throughout winter if kept warm and moist.
Talking about Chinese elms, how are yours? Mine are still throwing out shoots all over the place due to this weather. Can anybody tell me what causes those black spots on the leaves though? I don’t think they’re much to worry about but never the less I’d like to know.
Any of you with a greenhouse, how are your web sites? Amazing aren’t they those spiders. I’ve only got a small one (greenhouse) and every morning it’s like entering a scene from a horror movie. I’m sure one of these days I’m not going to get out alive. It’s like jungle warfare at times in there, all those beady eyed arachnids poised to attack, talk about Crocodile Dundee!! Mind you I don’t think they do any harm to the trees do they?
Someone told me that most insects that are fast moving are harmless to the trees. Have you heard that? It’s the slow ones that you have to watch out for (just like some of my work mates actually). Well any way my greenhouse has lots of those tiny grey things tearing about all over the place and I have to admit that so far so good, no harm seems to have been done. Fingers crossed. What are they any way? You know the ones I mean, always tearing about up and down the trees away from you. Little thin things about 4mm long with very good eyesight. I usually squash them but don’t know whether I really need to.
How are you doing with the yamadori?. Not a bad time of year for some species. Remember, try and preserve as much of the root ball as possible and the fibrous roots, then you’re in with a chance. Oh! by the way, when you’ve potted them up, don’t forget to talk to them, they’ve got souls you know!!, only don’t tell anybody that I said so.
See you,
Bonsai Bill
Ow do!!, How you doin’?
Well it’s here folks,- what we’ve been waiting for, - Spring. - Now be honest, how many of you have said to yourselves,” Thank the Lord, it’s still alive ?” You weren’t really sure were you till you saw those first small shoots? I’ll bet you never said anything to anyone that you thought you’d lost it, did you? ‘Cos we don’t do we, we say nothing (except a prayer). Or maybe you weren’t so lucky. Then you say to yourself - “Oh well!, I didn’t think much of it anyway (when you did really) - I had too many trees anyway. Yes, I can see you smiling.
How about this? You know that son of mine, the nearly 19 year old. Well listen to this.
Eh!, Dad! He says, - I’ve had a great idea. - Can you bonsai a cannabis tree? - You’d make a fortune if you could - go on Dad, you might as well try, - it’s going to be legalised anyway soon, says he with an air of authority. When I told him that I did not think it was a very good idea, he asked me why?
My wife says, “ Well, they’re all the same, teenagers” - I hope they’re not, don’t you?
Iv’e been to Tobago folks, the land of the humming birds. Have you ever seen one apart from on the tele? Wonderful aren’t they? I’ll tell you what, Tobago would be the place for your bonsai trees. It’s very warm and humid, anything would grow there. I had a great couple of hours in a rain forest. It’s marvellous seeing all the little forest frogs and land crabs first hand I think it’s the smell and the bird and animal noises that add to it as well. Wonderful !! You can swing on these 60ft vines like Tarzan - Yeah, O.K., I know what you’re thinking - Him? - Swing like Tarzan?
We hear a lot about security these days don’t we? Well I thought I’d have a go at making my humble abode more secure. I made a new back gate with upturned nails on top etc, security floodlight, padlocks and so on. I did a real Fort Knox do, - you know what I mean? When it was finished everybody was happy.
What you don’t do though is put it to the test personally, at least not unless you are in the S.A.S There I am last Wednesday waiting for one of our members to come round for a chat and a cup of tea. I go to have a look to see if he’s arrived and the front door slams shut on me. Have I got my keys?, NO !! Have I left any windows open?, NO!! Have I got my mobile with me, NO !! Have I got a problem?, YES !!!, you bet I have because me athletic days are long gone. - Me? Jump up on the garage roof? No chance, I wouldn’t even make the door handle. The rest of the family have gone to work. Anyway, assuming that I could climb on to the garage roof, I’ve then got to get down without a parachute and in any case, have I left the kitchen door open? - What a good question!.
My mate arrives and he’s younger, more athletic and not stupid like me. After a bit of a struggle and a lot of thick grease on his gloves from the front of the garage roof ( put there apparently by my security conscious son without me knowing) - he makes it.
All he’s got to do now is to get down. - Now that was something of a problem solved by using the greenhouse, the neighbour’s wall and two of my trees (which were only partially dislodged). Was the back door open? Thank the Lord, Yes!! - So, there you go.
Me and my mate have got a real adventure coming up. We’re off to Japan next year all being well. Can’t wait to see Omiyah village. Only one problem as I see it, how do you say Mc Donalds in Japanese?
See you folks, - have a good Summer
Bonsai BillThe Adventures of Bonsai Bill - Episode 5
How you doing? - not a bad summer I thought, especially September - mind you, you can’t please everyone can you ? I heard a few complaining about the lack of rain because they had to do a lot more watering at this time of year than normal.
Watering - now here’s something that’s puzzled me for some time. Unless you have an infinite supply of rain water you have to use tap water, right? Now I bet you’ve heard folks say, ”If tap water is good enough for me then it’s good enough for my trees.” Well, what I’m not sure about is the fluoride and other salts in tap water. I don’t know about you but we’re animal (although my wife has called me a cabbage on more than one occasion) and our trees are composed of vegetable cells. Now this fluoride that the water authorities put in tap water may be good for our teeth ( except for those that you put in a glass by the bed at night) - but how can you say the same for trees? Surely fluoride is going to be harmful to trees. I know that books say that you should give your trees a good drenching of rain water to wash out the salts contained in tap water:-So what do you do? I suppose a water butt is the answer if you have room for one.
Well we did the Stafford show in September and I have to congratulate those taking part because once again the club display was superb. We were awarded a Silver medal. We have in the past achieved gold standard but we realise now that it does depend very much on who the judges are.
In true Japanese tradition we used the spaces between our trees along with accent plants to create a whole art form and this year it worked against us. We spoke to the judge and asked him what we needed to do to get back up to gold standard. He said that he didn’t know anything about bonsai because he was a chrysanthemum man. He explained that with ‘chrissies’ you have them in bunches to get more effect and he felt that we should have had our big trees on the top third row much closer together. Now, we didn’t say too much except to explain to him that you didn’t do that with bonsai trees.
Next year we are going to find who the judges are before we arrange our display. I just hope it isn’t an onion expert because if it is, I personally don’t fancy hanging trees in bunches from bicycle handle bars, do you? - that could be difficult !!
You know who your friends are in this world don’t you? At the show I had a tree called a Pisifera. Now it so happens that this particular cultivar has a bronze colouring at this time of year. - “What’s that dead tree doing here they said, we can’t display that?” Charming I thought - and I’m talking about senior members of the club. I had to put a card in front of the tree explaining to visitors that the tree was NOT DEAD but just in its natural early Autumn colours. I tell you, you know who your friends are. They, of course thought it was very amusing. Well, it was to be honest - but don’t tell them. You ought to see the photograph of them standing in front of it. I’ll bring it to the next club meeting and you can see for yourselves.
Now don’t forget at this time of year high nitrogen feed for your pines and 0 - 10 - 10 for most of your deciduous trees. If you're not sure what I mean, one of the more experienced members (you know, those that can’t tell whether a tree is dead or not) will be very happy to explain.
See You,
Bonsai Bill
The Adventures of Bonsai Bill - Episode 6 (March 2008)
Eh up! - ‘Ow yer doin? - Bonsai Bill here – long time no see.
Now here’s one for you. We’re told according to the old saying that ‘The answer lies in the soil’. That’s fair enough as far as I’m concerned but the question is what soil? Everyone seems to have different ideas. When I was talking some time ago to ‘Mr Bridgemere’ his view was “Stick your bonsai in anything and then give them a good dollop of horse sh** - manure”. Well, I don’t entirely agree with that but what I think he was trying to say is that we can be too fussy with our trees.
For years we used soils like John Innes No 3 and grit with a bit of organic or potting compost for most trees with the exception of the lime intolerant trees. With them, rhododendrons and azaleas etc. we used garden centre ericaceous soil because there was little else available. Now we are becoming more sophisticated because of the greater range of products available to us. That’s what’s causing the confusion for many of us. What should we use?
Now I don’t know if you have been watching Monty Don’s series ‘ Around the world in Eighty Gardens’. If you have and you remember his visit to the South American rain forest he showed massive trees and I mean, massive, that were successfully growing in about 6“ of soil. They were growing successfully, he said, because of the nutrients being fed to them from all the dead vegetation around them on the forest floor. Under this thin layer of soil appeared to be a mixture of broken rock, clay and sand. It was a bit difficult to tell to be honest. However it seemed to me that he was saying that it was the nutrients from leaf mould and decaying vegetation that was the important factor, not so much the soil. So the question is how fussy do we need to be with our soil?
Most of us now know about Akadama, a Japanese subsoil that is being widely used sometimes with other constituents, for most trees. This soil is neutral, well draining and ideal particularly for maples. It enables trees to breathe and keeps its consistency for many years. John Hanby told me that he uses Akadama and Bims for most trees in his Newstead Bonsai Centre in Wakefield. Bims according to John is a replacement for grit. He thinks it comes from river beds in Germany. Anyway he uses 50% Akadama and 50% Bims for most trees. I have started to use it this year so we shall have to see. Mind you if it’s good enough for John then it’s certainly good enough for me.
Many trees need to have an organic constituent in the soil and that would tie in with Monty Don’s views. Again there are many things that we can use including peat, leaf mould, ‘New horizon’ peat free potting compost and orchid bark to name a few. Personally I favour orchid bark but it can be expensive. I find that Akadama, orchid bark and grit makes a good mixture to grow most trees in.
Now then’ so far so good but I haven’t mentioned cat litter yet. If you go on the ‘Bonsai4me’ web site there is an article on using Tesco premium cat litter for bonsai.
This article is an in depth appraisal of cat litter as bonsai soil. It makes very interesting reading. The author has been using cat litter for some time now and maintains that it is superior to Akadama in every way, and it’s cheaper, a lot cheaper. Can I suggest that you read this article.
When I spoke to a friend of mine about it he said “I’m not using something that used for soaking up cat’s pee or oil for my trees. I’m quite happy with Akadama etc.
However he did say he didn’t know much about it, so there you go.
Me – Well I’m running out of Bims and I’ve just bought my first bag of cat litter, so what does that tell you? - I’ll let you know later how it all works out.
Are you still confused? If you are then I can tell you one thing - Confused.com won’t help - Sorry about that.
Keep smiling
BonsaI Bill
